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An interview with Zach Mitchell by Max Montague
Let me start by saying that interviews are not my forte. In fact, I’ve never
done one before. But then, before I wrote my first column, I had never done that either. To The Max being the name of my column. It’s syndicated world-wide in a few publications. But the point is that I was informed by Julie that I was doing one, and not only that but she chose the interviewee for me - kind of her, don’t you think? - and that saying no was not an option. So bear with me, if you will. Thank you.Let me start then, by welcoming Zach Mitchell, who has just joined us. Before I do that, though, let me give you a little background. I was introduced to Zach in Marie Sexton’s A to Z. Richard and I enjoyed the book greatly, and for those who aren’t familiar with it, I recommend that you begin there, and take the time to meet Zach and his lover Angelo, and maybe backtrack to Promises, where you’ll pick up Jared and Matt.
That being said, I would like to welcome you, Zach, and thanks for putting up with my first attempt at an interview. In case I didn’t throw my name, and I don’t think I did, actually, it’s Max Montague. It’s a pleasure to meet you. And the reason we are here to discuss your new book, The Letter Z, is it not? Interesting title. Care to discuss the meaning about it?
The title has two meanings. The first one is simply a play on the alphabet. Marie felt like A to Z wasn’t really the end of the story for Ang and I. And so at the end of A to Z, you have The Letter Z. The second meaning is a bit of an allusion to Sesame Street, to be honest. But beyond that, I’m not sure I can say too much without giving anything away.
I can appreciate that. I’ve mentioned that to Julie before about her reviews, that too much information can spoil the reading. When you reference Sesame Street, I presume you mean the beginning, where they tell you that today’s show was brought to you, say, by the number 69 and the Letter Z. I know, they would never use that number, but just as an example. And that giggling blond that I am now sending out of the room is my fiancé, Richard, just so you know. Thanks for that, love, I’ll talk to you later. But back to my question, that does make it an unusual reference for a book about two men in love, does it not? Not quite Sesame Street condoned, although it should be.
[laughs} That’s exactly the part of Sesame Street I’m referring to. And I’m sure they wouldn’t approve. And if they find out exactly what Z does stand for to Angelo and I, they’ll approve even less!
I don’t know about you, but I find it very infuriating that people can be so judgmental when it comes to children, as if they might be soiled by the idea that two men or two women could love one another. I mean, where do these ideas come from, if not from the parents? And how are we going to teach the children, if they aren’t allowed to see how natural any love is?
It seems to me like there can never be too much love in the world. And it’s unfortunate that some people don’t seem to agree. Do they think there’s somehow TOO MUCH? Because that’s the only justification I can think of for trying to limit the types of it that are allowed.
Do you ever worry about acceptance for yourself and Angelo? Are you pretty well out, and were you before you met him?
I’ve been out since college. And Ang? I don’t think he was ever IN. Do we worry about acceptance? I can’t say that we do. We live our life, and we have our friends and our family. That’s all we need. I’m sure some people disapprove of the way we live, but… that’s their problem. It’s of no concern to us. Matt or Jared or Marie can rave for days about tolerance and narrow-mindedness. But for me, I have Ang. And that’s the only thing in the world that matters to me.
I applaud your attitude. No wonder Marie wrote a book about you, that’s just so romantic. I take it, then, that your family is loving and accepting of you both? Have you ever had any problems in that regard?
My family is very accepting of me, and I’m sure they will be of Angelo too, when they finally meet him - something he’s scared to death about, by the way. We’ll tackle that hurdle when he’s ready. And Angelo’s family… well, there’s only his mother. They’ve got a lot of problems to work through, but his homosexuality isn’t one of them, thank goodness.
Do you feel, as I do, that family isn’t limited by blood, that family is created by love? Matt and Jared seem like they could be brothers to you both, easily.
Absolutely. Jared’s family has adopted us as their own. They’re amazing. And Matt and Angelo - they really are brothers in all ways but blood. They laugh together and more than anything, they love anything that will drive the other one crazy. But no matter what Ang needs, I know Matt will be there for him. I try to be too. But sometimes… sometimes what he needs is a friend, more than a lover. And that’s Matt. Matt helps Ang a lot in The Letter Z.
Helps him? That implies that Angelo is in trouble.
Let’s just say, Angelo has some issues to work through in Vegas.
Tell me more about your young man. What makes him tick? What are the traits that he possesses that you can’t live without, that no one else possesses?
Oh my god, that’s hard. I can’t even begin to explain what Angelo is to me. He’s….like something not even of this world. He’s divine and wild and beautiful and…he really is an angel. I know how insane that sounds, and he just laughs when I say that kind of thing to him. And you’ve probably read his interviews. You know he’s…[smiling} temperamental, to say the least. But he’s fun and he’s strong and he’s just so….real. And he gives me…. Everything.
[smiling again} I have a feeling that didn’t really answer your question.
Some people have accused Angelo of being too immature in his relationship with you?
Well, yeah. Because the way we act in relationships isn’t so much about age as it is about experience. Now, don’t get me wrong. Angelo’s smart. He’s smarter than any of the rest of us. But, when it comes to relationships, he really is just a kid.
He reminds me of my fiancé, Richard. I’m certainly not his first partner, far from it. But I really am his first relationship. And to be honest, he hasn’t’ always known how to handle that, so I get what you’re saying.
Exactly. Most of us, sometime in high school or maybe college, we fell in love, we had a relationship, we had our heart broken. We learned. Angelo never had any of that. He never even went on a date. His relationship with me is the first he’s ever had, of any kind. So does he always handle it well? [laughing a little} No, definitely not. But he’s smart enough to accept the fact that he’s often wrong. What’s important is, he wants to grow. He wants to make things between us work. So, is it always easy? Hell, no. But is it worth it in the end? Absolutely.
Has the question of marriage ever come up between you? I know that it is legal in some states, and a few countries, and some people say that it doesn’t matter, that being together is enough of a commitment. But don’t you think there’s something to having the right to make that legal commitment, whether you exercise it or not? Would you do it, if you could?
Of course I believe it should be a right for anybody to marry the person they love. I’d marry Ang in a heartbeat if it was something he wanted. And I do hope that eventually, that’s where we’ll be. But he’s not ready for that yet. He still goes to bed in a separate room more than half the time. I’m patient. I can wait. For now, I’m happy just being with him in whatever manner he can handle.
When it comes to the past – yours or Angelo’s – do you believe in the don’t ask, don’t tell policy, or do you believe that honesty is the best policy, no matter what the truth may be?
I know Angelo’s past, and I have no problem hearing about it. I’m not the jealous type. But Angelo definitely is. He can’t even stand the thought of the men I was with before him. Which is why running into Jonathan in The Letter Z becomes….problematic to say the least.
Sounds kinky, to say the least. It also sounds like the pot calling the kettle black. Is he afraid of being compared and coming up lacking?
Sexually? No. But emotionally? Yes. That’s exactly what he’s afraid of. What Angelo and I have is not like anything else he’s ever experienced. With anybody. And it bothers him to think that maybe I’ve had a connection like this before.
For the record though: nobody’s ever given me a sense of…[searching for a word} purpose, and belonging, the way he does.
And just for our own information, how does Angelo compare to Jonathan?
They couldn’t be more different. Jonathan worried a lot about his career, and about looking respectable, and about being what other people thought he should be. I don’t think I have to tell you, Angelo doesn’t worry about any of those things. But when Angelo meets Jon in The Letter Z, he sees only that Jon is successful in all the ways Ang isn’t. Add to that the fact that for some reason, Jonathan thinks he wants me back…. it’s enough to shake Angelo’s faith in our relationship altogether.
No, Angelo doesn’t strike me as someone who worries about what other people think, he’s rather self-assured that way. You are both very lucky to have one another, I can see how much you love one another, it’s very inspiring. Thank you for talking to us, Zach, I’ve enjoyed your company. I’d like to have you and Angelo over for dinner some time. I’m a pretty good cook, if you don’t mind that we live a little off the beaten track. Best of luck to you and Marie with The Letter Z.
